


A Wolf in the Herd

by Skyepilot



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Akela Amador - Freeform, Angst, Blake - Freeform, Deathlok - Freeform, Dub Con May/Ward, F/M, Gen, Hydra, Ian Quinn - Freeform, Jealousy, Lorelei - Freeform, Mike Petersen, Raina - Freeform, Rape-implied, Reyes - Freeform, Sitwell - Freeform, Testing loyalty, The Clairvoyant - Freeform, This is not a Ward friendly zone, Threats, Torture-implied, Victoria Hand - Freeform, Ward is HYDRA, Ward is a creep, Ward is everyone's type, Ward is evil, Ward is his own favorite victim, Ward loathes Coulson, Ward's loyalty to Garrett, Ward's own fictional narrative, alien - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-30
Updated: 2014-08-04
Packaged: 2018-02-11 02:11:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 13,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2049426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyepilot/pseuds/Skyepilot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ficlet views of Ward's perspective in each of the episodes. A lot of it will be Ward cataloging Skye and Coulson's relationship and his own jealousies and obsessions seeping in.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Pilot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ward finds himself on Coulson's team on the Bus.

So far, this was working.

All he had to do was say he wasn’t a team player. 

Just like Garrett had told him.

Irresistible for a guy like Coulson.

For a dead guy, he sure was cocky.  The expensive non-issue suits and the digs about his family life and Hill’s file on him. 

And oh, shit, that car.  What did he call it?

Coulson’s family life was pretty disastrous, so he shouldn’t throw stones, and, he definitely had Agent Coulson beat in that department. By a long mile.

He only wished his family was gone. He’d like to erase that part of his life.

But, Coulson has no idea that his file has been read.  Every last little detail of it.

They’d stayed up all night a few months ago, drinking whiskey and laughing about it, him and Garrett.

Dinners at the Richmond and his perfect little Cellist girlfriend. And his daddy issues and how his mother dying had a chilling effect on him.  Before he died, anyway.

This Coulson didn’t seem very chilly, though.  Just _what_ did they do to him? 

Garrett wanted to know.  They needed to know, because Garrett was a ticking time bomb. And that, was why he was here, on the Bus, on this ridiculous team, pretending to be something he definitely wasn’t.

He liked playing pretend, though. Liked watching Coulson try to push his buttons, size him up, never knowing.  Yeah, a guy like Grant Ward, Agent of SHIELD, would be exactly the sort of fellow Coulson would despise.

They would go on like this for a while he imagined.  Coulson tearing him down, building him back up.  Like he had with Amador.  Into the perfect team player. And he would play on that mistake, too, like it was a violin.  That was going to hurt.

He has his orders, but, at least he could enjoy himself a little.  Coulson is the kind of guy who wouldn’t last for two weeks stranded anywhere, he’d just march over to a cabin like the soft guy he is and flash a grin and take over the joint until Fury sent someone to extract him.

Okay, the guy _was_ a badass for taking it through the heart, from an Asgardian, no less.  I mean, if you’re going to go out, why the hell not?  He even got a shot off.

Just a reminder, though, that for all his bravado?  Coulson was just another Fury stooge.  Another little orphan with a smart mouth, the kind of asshole that Fury loved to surround himself with. 

Probably so Fury could feel better about himself and keep them all guessing.

These weak people that told themselves they were keeping the world safe, but really would never go far enough.  Never had the stomach to do what it would really take.   History was built on the bones of people like these.

They’d give all these freaks, aliens and hopped-up lunatics just enough latitude, let them kill and destroy just enough, and then pat themselves on the back and say they love freedom.  When really, they were letting the world burn slowly, instead of making it stronger.

Garrett knew how to make a man over.  Garrett had made himself over after SHIELD had left him to die.  It was people like Garrett who should be at Fury’s right hand, not a joke like Phil Coulson.

Him bringing that socialist hacker on as a consultant was a big mistake.   The Rising Tide, I mean, he had to know what they represented.  There was no way she didn’t have ulterior motives.

It made him uncomfortable, and made him consider the possibility that this Coulson was less predictable.  He’d have to consider making some adjustments.

There were profiles on everyone here, he knew which of their buttons to push.  She was an unknown quantity, and clearly had issues with boundaries and respect.  And she had no past.  The danger level here is potentially toxic and he knows he’s not the only one thinking that (which might be useful after all). 

What kind of name is _Skye_ anyway?

She also has no problem dealing with Coulson, which, he kind of likes watching.  It also lets him get a read on this new and improved version, which is useful. 

When Coulson wasn’t dragging him into the middle of that and using him as a patsy.

And he likes looking at her.  But, getting women to like him isn’t a problem and this one will probably be no hassle, either.

He is, after all, everyone’s type.


	2. 0-8-4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ward realizes that Skye and Coulson are very similar.

His goal was to get her kicked off the Bus.  And, as quickly as possible.

She was naïve, at best.  At worst, she was a hassle and a liability.  Coulson letting his hot socialist crush on board is not _his_ problem and it's not part of the plan.

Boy, has she worked Coulson over somehow.

It was a bit puzzling.

At least he knew May was on his side about this one.  Although, he did wonder if May was just an ice queen all around or if she had other reasons.

Like, maybe, this was Coulson being really, really stupid.

After they'd debriefed, after he’d handed Skye the evacuation procedures for the Bus, with Coulson right on his heels, he’d turned the corner and lingered for a moment.

Coulson was giving her _everything_. Telling her about New York, about his leave of absence, what an 0-8-4 was.  And he connected it back to her.

So, that was his angle.  His way of getting her to buy-in.  Typical SHIELD.  He’s leading her on about her 0-8-4 status.

He also drops the comment about him personally finding Thor’s hammer, because, regardless of her protests, she really is about two steps away from a sweaty cosplay girl and she has a thing for superheroes.  He just knows it.

Skye probably thinks she’s made some big score getting inside SHIELD ops on Coulson’s dime.

So when they land, he watches as they divide up and Skye trails after Coulson.  The way he kind of hangs back and they continue their conversation comfortably. 

He and May are left to do the big kids' work, and after he’s done some recon he walks up to May and finds a perfect opportunity to push a button. 

The Calvary.

The reaction is predictable, to say the least.  She is the one he’s going to have to watch.  She might have a chance against him if he’s not coming from the inside.

He offers an apology, and then brings up Bahrain anyway.  To keep her talking.  She is impressive, or maybe, was, who knows what she is now?

They had her behind a desk in HQ which says a lot.  What she is, is on this sorry excuse for a team and she’s all the way in Coulson’s corner.

And then there’s Reyes.  How does a guy like Coulson do it?  It’s obviously a pattern with him, because he and May exchange a look.  Good, it’s something he’ll save for later.

The two twittering science gnats are also getting on his nerves.  The science division belongs in a box, tucked away somewhere, serving the cause.  He knows HYDRA tech when he sees it, and they’re not delicate and sensitive instruments, they’re blunt objects.  Always.

He yanks it from the temple wall and shuts Fitz’s whining voice out.

They speed away and he tries to tune them all out as the SUV pulls into the cargo hold he goes to raise it, and hears _her_ shouting at him, like she's giving orders.

She passes that little test.  Interesting.  It lets him plant a seed – Team Coulson! Leave no man behind. 

He shoves past them and goes down to lay some cover fire, gets tagged in the process.

They get the device in the MedBay and start to go to work.  Or rather, he does.

Playing to Fitz’s petty concerns about his inability in the field makes him about the easiest mark, ever.  They’re arguing and it’s clear they have no business working together.

He plays his specialist card again, Agent Grant Ward works best alone, after all!

What’s Coulson going to do with that?

He actually told them to work it out.  Like it’s the first day of Kindergarten.

Then Skye lets it slip, after Coulson calls out all their specializations and leaves her out.  My, she’s eager to please him.

He walks away, does some recon on Reyes’ men in the lounge and soon enough Skye, without much to do, apparently, wants to talk.  Yes, she does love to talk.

He listens to her spout her socialist nonsense, try to sell him on the real goals of scum like the Rising Tide.  It probably makes her feel better, like she’s contributing something.  He thinks her idealism is cute, really, like a child who doesn’t understand the way the world works.

He’s never been idealistic. Not even for a second, now that he considers it.

She’s so cheerful looking and he gets it.  She’s coming at him with this because of his loner bit down in the MedLab.  They just don’t see the world the same way.

This is too good.  She’s almost as bad as Coulson.  It will make things easy.

Reyes’ team on board was also another one of Coulson’s bad ideas, he can feel the menace hovering in the air.  These third world types are always looking for an angle, always grasping for power that's just beyond their reach.  He drops a hint about his unease to Skye, since she’s so good at teachable moments.

Well, this is going to be a big one.

These people are Team Chaos and somehow they managed to survive today. He is not amused.  He’s thinking about his report to Garrett, how he's going to make it look like a positive, like he’s made any gains.

It’s people like these that make HYDRA a necessity.


	3. The Asset

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ward finds he and Skye have something in common.

Coulson is going to wreck this whole team.

Not that there’s much to wreck, if he’s honest with himself.

The problem is, he’s here to get something from Agent Coulson, and if they’re all dead because Coulson forgot every useful protocol they’ve ever been taught, that sort of screws things up.

It’s back to the hacker again.  _Skye_.

Does he want to, maybe, just sit back and let her run the operation then? Maybe she can just run the whole operation.

That would free up Coulson to go sit in his office and sip on a fucking Mai Tai and tell everyone “Tahiti is a magical place.”

Oh good Lord.  His S.O. is high-rank HYDRA and he’s been reduced to this.

He filed his report for Garrett. And despite what Fitz and Simmons think about him being a technological Luddite, he does know how to use email and encryption.

He just can’t write it or hack it, which is why they have things compartmentalized in SHIELD, and that’s just how it should be. 

He can’t do _everything_ himself.

Skye is the rookie.  That is her role as far as he’s concerned.

As far as Agent of SHIELD, Grant Ward, is concerned.

He knows how to do rookies.  He’ll deal with her the same way Garrett dealt with him.  Just, you know, keeping in mind that she’s not tough the way he is.

The whole point is to keep her in his wheelhouse, and to use that on Coulson.  Play them off one another, make him look good.  Earn their trust.

He's going to have to earn her trust, because, she's here to stay by the looks of things.

While he definitely objects to her going into Quinn's compound, he has to admit she does have a way of getting on the inside of things.  

Maybe there was hope for her yet.

It's when her lack of commitment to the team shows through when he tries to train her, that he starts to lose his patience.  It’s grating on him, because, again, if they’re shot full of holes by Ian Quinn’s hired mercenaries…

It brings back memories, training her.  Some of the necessary pain attached to it as well.  Garrett teaching him how to shoot. 

What consequences look and feel like. 

When he looks around the Bus, all he can see is weakness.  It’s infuriating.  All he can think about is what Garrett would be able to do with this team, if he were in charge.

He’d paid attention and he’d listened and he’d pushed through the pain.  It had cost him everything to get here.

Coulson tells him not to be so hard on her.  And reveals a little bit of his own approach to things.  Translated, it’s basically for him to stop being him and to be more like Coulson.  

 _Sure, let's be Unprofessional Agent Ward of SHIELD_.  Let's entertain Rising Tide Activists, maybe take you for a spin in my sweet ride (look, it flies!) or stand around in the room like you're the only other person on Team Us.

How him being himself is supposed to keep her from getting herself killed is beyond him, and he can’t decide if it’s because it’s actually going to work, or if Coulson’s really that soft on her.  

Being himself is really not an option, either.

So he does what works best in situations like these.  He tells her a partial truth.  A story about his brother (who he hates), about a moment of weakness (which he hates, but he’s sure she’ll love), and just like that she’s hooked.

Oh, that was a defining moment, all right.  When he realized that he was as much a victim as his younger brother was.  What he wouldn’t give to look him in the face right now and show him what he’s become.  Teach him how to never let anyone step on you. 

Before it’s too late.

Coulson was right.  It works in his favor, taking his advice.  He’s sure that he probably thinks this team is coming along very nicely.

When it’s all said and done ( _yes_ , Coulson was right about the rookie) he gets to see that side of Coulson.

The killer.

I mean, he figured, but this is the first time he’s seen him wear it. Own it.

He sees the look on Coulson’s face as he looks bitterly at what used to be Dr. Franklin Hall, his Gravitonium. 

And he watches Skye watch Coulson.

Coulson doesn’t like being pushed to do that, does he?  He’s taken a dislike to that level of violence.

Because of his own death?  A possibility. 

So soft.

What would he do if he had to kill the girl?  Or watch her die? 

The thought crosses his mind for just a moment. 

Would that break him?

Later he finds Skye at the punching bag. 

She’s tougher than he thought.  Adaptable.

Then she shares back.  Of course she does.  It's about her background in foster care.  

He finds they have something in common. 

They’ve both endured, in a way.

Victims.

Of other people’s weaknesses.


	4. Eye Spy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ward and Garrett use Amador to test Coulson.

Enter Akela Amador.

What luck. This couldn't go better if they planned it.

Oh. Wait.

They did.

He'd started to get a little bored, anyway, so this push came along at just the right time.

Coulson isn't giving him anything. They needed to stir things up.

That's when Garrett had lined up Amador conveniently falling back into Coulson's life.

Coulson had really screwed up things with Amador way back when. Spectacularly.

Like he'd said, this was going to hurt.

Coulson and his proteges. He wondered if Coulson had looked at Akela the way he looks at Skye.  If that's how the man operates.

Not that it was hard to understand, with Skye, anyway.

And watching Coulson's mid-life crisis play out in front of him was amusing as all get out. At least John thought so. He was funny, all mission, don't mistake it. They needed this from Coulson, but John liked hearing all of the little details. When he told the story later (and he would tell it), it would be _his_ story and not Ward's.

Garrett liked Coulson. He narrowed his eyes thinking about it.

He didn't, but, he wasn't old friends with Coulson, either. It's just that what Garrett needed was more important, and Coulson didn't fit into their scope if he kept this pathetic romanticism up.  There wouldn't be a place for him in the new order.

He'd learned to avoid attachments, but spending time with this team of rejects was making it harder.  They weren't anything like a regular SHIELD team.  He'd been on many, he preferred working alone, he preferred working with professionals.

Coulson didn't think his Short Bus joke was funny as they drove to the location to chase after Amador. The electronic ops from the van with the three untrained and virtually useless field agents in it? Yeah, _who was joking?_

If only Coulson had known just how much he truly meant it.

Coulson always played right into their hands. He'd have to chalk that one up to John. Coulson didn't even call in Amador to HQ.  Yup, John had called it.

All it had taken was Garrett making sure that Coulson saw that all arrows pointed Phil in the right direction to get him to move like the little chess pawn he was.

They get out of the van and walk, he decides to push Coulson. He's wanted to push Coulson ever since he saw his face in Quinn's villa in Malta. Just to see what kind of man he really is.

They're going to have to break him some time. That's the whole mission.

Everyone on the Bus just loves Coulson, but he's not fooled. Garrett has told him stories about Phil Coulson before he died. The Phil Coulson he knows and it might make Fitz cry.

It's easy to use threat assessment to get Coulson talking about Amador. A little note of sympathy before he digs in about Amador turning on her team, killing his team.  Ouchy.

Coulson should get to know that feeling.

He's kept Coulson away long enough for Amador to attack the Short Bus. Not to kill anyone, Garrett said that wouldn't be necessary when he'd asked, and then he asked if it was going to be a problem. Well of course not, he'd cross them off when the time came, but only if needed. Let's not waste resources.

Just shake them up enough to make Phil move again.

Then they're back on the Bus and he is pressing Coulson, hard, about Amador when Skye interrupts and she's hacked Amador's eye feed.

She makes a joke about him being a robot. Probably for the second time and...still not funny?

They're assessing the technology with the team and he watches May getting antsy. She wants to call it in to HQ. Because, May is professional, unlike everyone else on the Bus. Coulson's not letting her, and then they're arguing in front of the team.

It's getting personal. Riveting.

So, things aren't really all that solid between Coulson and May. Garrett will enjoy knowing that. They can use that.

May might listen to him.

Divide and conquer. He backs up May and watches Coulson go rigid.

But it doesn't last, because Garrett tips his hand. He sees Garrett's command typed into Amador's eye feed across the screen. He can practically hear John laughing on the other end.

Coulson is not giving up. He is not letting Amador go. This doesn't sound like the guy whose file he read at all. Garrett thinks it has to do with whatever they did to him to bring him back.  John's getting hungry, but he's still a patient man.  That's why he admires him. He would wait for Hell to freeze over if it was needed.

Once they have Amador in custody they split into teams and he gets stuck with Skye.

Not that he minds it so much. They've been spending more time together. She's teasing him like she always does, trying to get him to loosen up. He makes sure to warn her she's on her own before he gets out of the car.

He's running this op for Garrett, really.

The best part is Skye is actually concerned for him. He's starting to enjoy playing Grant Ward: Agent of SHIELD. Possibly a little too much. He hasn't stepped foot outside of SHIELD since he was a teen. Maybe this is what normal people do?

Best keep that detail to himself.

Right now, Coulson's got a member of his team running an op for HYDRA.

Irony. Hello.

Garrett probably hasn't stopped laughing yet.


	5. Girl In The Flower Dress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ward likes watching Coulson be humiliated.

She had a boyfriend.

He knew something was up, but he didn't think it was that.

Playing SHIELD? _For sure_.

He was enjoying that part. He'd pop popcorn for that. Sit back, watch Coulson spin around.

On the one hand Grant Ward, Agent of SHIELD, had to crack down. Because, he was her S.O. and because she was still contacting the Rising Tide including one of its most prominent members.

Sleeping with the enemy.

He'd made sure he stood up for her when all this started, when Coulson had her in his office and she was on the defensive.

That was a new look for them both.

At least, when they were in the same room together. Coulson seemed to have problem with trusting the wrong people.

Coulson wouldn't even speak to her or look at her after he'd interrogated her. Although, he'd barely call that an interrogation, more like a stern talking to followed by Phil getting emotional and shoving a few things around.

In front of his team.

Garrett will just love that little bit. _So effected_. He's at least 50 and he just can't take it, can he?

Now, _him_? He's just going to treat her the way it should be done.

She'd have to take it and make it out alive.

But yeah, Coulson was definitely embarrassed by the whole thing. Humiliated, really, because it was all on him.

Coulson had been watching them play a tactical training game (Battleship has its uses) in the lounge on the Bus. He'd felt them before he saw them, hovering.

Hey, told ya so, Phil.

Coulson could've just locked her up and thrown away the key. Or, he could've let him get in there and take them both apart.

That was his job, after all.

Instead he was keeping his distance. Watching from the safety of his office. What a sad joke.

If Coulson wasn't man enough to pull the plug on it, he sure was.

Miles was just another drone in a long line of drones who spent their lives poor and desperate, because they aligned themselves with the wrong people and the wrong causes. With bottom feeders, instead of people at the top. They didn't know how to lead and they didn't know how to follow.

Useless.

Yeah, this Miles guy was dirty.

Her idealism had blinded her. He could tell that she had stars in her eyes about saving world. He'd seen it plenty of times in SHIELD.

This guy had sold her a bill of goods and there was no way he was getting out of here without losing.

Listening to him talking to her about a million dollars, like that was something. As if that was enough.

How had she hooked up with this small-time loser?

She was better than that.

They stay locked up and he's stuck babysitting while May and Coulson partner up with Hong Kong SHIELD to deal with the firebreather.

He knows the drill, he knows this guy is probably toast, he knows Centipede knows how to burn their remains.

It's almost a relief when he gets to unlock her and drag her away to save Coulson.

Getting Coulson is important, and that's his priority here.

But.

When Skye tells Miles that he's like Seal Team Six?

There's your world and this world, Miles.

He's going to save the day.

And Miles is going to stand around and watch.

They get back, and of course, the experiment is a goner, he avoids Skye and sits down at the bar with May instead.

Coulson already tipped his hand he wants to keep Skye around. That whole "if you get to them early enough" moment really made him want to roll his eyes. If you get to them early enough, then what, Phil?

May didn't want Skye here. Neither did he, at first.

What was Coulson going to do?

He knew what he was going to do.

"Make it a double."


	6. F.Z.Z.T.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ward sees the inevitable.

What _is_ he trying to prove going in there alone?

If Coulson doesn't make it out of that fire station, he'll never hear the end of it from Garrett.

No two ways about it.

Chitauri tech and floating bodies.  It had been one of those days.

At least Garrett was chomping at the bit to get his hands on that ICER technology (he refused to call it by that other name) that Fitz is developing.  That's one positive.  Delivering that to his higher ups would make him look like a rock star.  Getting him the finished specs on that will be no problem.  

Fitz is good, but their guys can take it to the next level.

Really, Coulson should do that fireman a favor right now and put him out of his misery instead of the speech he's probably giving him, dragging out the inevitable.

Skye is standing there.  Waiting.  That look on her face.  

She's still here, Coulson’s got her wearing an electronic tracking bracelet.  Bet she doesn't know the kind of people they usually give those bracelets to.  Or what everyone at SHIELD HQ thinks about it.

Garrett said the rumor mill is already in full swing.

Coulson should've thrown her off the team.  Any sensible SHIELD agent would have.

But then, Coulson's not a sensible guy.  He apparently doesn't mind being a laughingstock. 

Now that he thinks about it, what's the difference, really, between Coulson and this Diaz guy?

Yeah, Coulson's alive, but, it's all just a matter of time, really. 

He's a broken man and he doesn't even know it.

Thankfully, Coulson walks out, and yeah, Diaz is a goner.  

It’s inevitable.

Him, this team.  It’s all going to come to an end at some point.

Skye's been shadowing him all day, trying to get back into his good graces after the boyfriend roadbump.

Coulson had made the guy take the longest walk ever.  He didn't think Coulson would do petty, but there it was.

There it was.

John had written one line back to him after that last report.

" _Does he let her call him Phil yet_?"

That had made something drop in the pit of his stomach.  He knew Garrett was being funny, but he was having a hard time laughing along.

The idea of Coulson and Skye.  Like that.  His hands on her.

Flirting was one thing, he knew that could get you far, get you _a lot of things_.

If Skye doesn't know better, Coulson sure as hell does.

It's important for him to let her know that their organization does have some standards, even if Coulson has forgotten all of them.

Because if she pulled what she did with the boyfriend on HYDRA?  

That's gonna get you killed.

If she's going to make it in the new order that’s coming, she's going to have to learn to start being a good girl and listening and following some rules, despite what Coulson says.

When they get back to the Bus, that's when Simmons starts showing the symptoms.

Just add it to the list of things he didn't sign up for today which is exposure to an alien virus.

This freak show is one thing, but he doesn't want to end up like one of the lab rats they've been chasing.

He watches Fitzsimmons from far off. It’s more detached that way.  When Skye finds him, she starts talking.  About feeling helpless.  That’s something he’s all too familiar with.  He understands that need.  He’d rather be doing something about it, too.

Fitz _tries_ to shows some real guts. B ut, he’s the hero here and doing this thing, getting the girl without a parachute?  That’s going to earn him a lot of brownie points going forward.

Just too easy.

Coulson tears into them afterwards.   _So touching_ , Phil.

Your little rag tag team.

Simmons really appreciates the save.  He'd heard them mocking him earlier in the Lab, plays it back to her.  They are, after all, children and their minds are useful, so he can tolerate it for now.

But, it's when Skye jumps into his arms he thinks it was all worth it.


	7. The Hub

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ward gets scarier.

Fitz wants to know if _he_ likes _Skye_.

Fitz sits, and thinks and talks. 

All night.

Even though he, _literally_ , tells him, out loud, to shut up.

It reminds him of being in the Third Grade, when he would just sit there quietly and want to be left alone, but the other kids would stop in front of his desk and stare.

There was always one.  _Why are you so weird_?  Are you okay?  That one was almost worse, because it was like they wanted to say the first thing, but were just trying to be nice about it.

All he’d wanted was for them to just go away.  For them to stop talking and looking at him.  He wanted to make them go away.

That feeling of wanting to crawl inside his head, where no one else could go or see.  

Hidden.

And he would come out when _he_ wanted to.

Sometimes, they would send him away for a few days, when the thing happened.  Usually, it was his brother who triggered it.

Sometimes longer.

Ward stares up at the moon, at the man in the moon, and thinks it looks like a skull, really.  Hollow eyes and nose and gaping mouth. What about that looks like a man?

Being sent away was nice, anyway, because then he didn’t have to pretend around those people.

Like he was normal.  Wasn’t he maybe, just a little bit better, even?

He always managed to impress his teachers, but then strangely, they always held back.  To make the other students feel better about themselves.  To not put him too far ahead.

They wanted to keep him in his place.  Just like his family.  Just like his brother.

That was a long time ago.  Before he was able to control his emotions.  Reign in his feelings and…impulses.

Fitz is still dodging, he’s talking around something.  That much he can sense.  Just thinking and blathering.

Is this about _Simmons_?  About his little juvenile crush on his partner?  She’s like his mommy, or Fitz is like her pet.    

He can’t have that conversation.  Not even Grant Ward, Agent of SHIELD, can stand to have that conversation.

Fitz’s little number with the handheld EMP he’d pulled back there?  Not bad.

I mean, he’d never, _ever_ want to be in a firefight with Fitz. Or stuck with him in the dark like he is now.

But he did appreciate not getting shot point blank by rebels.

He still hadn’t answered the question. 

About Skye.

She was probably still stuck at the Hub, chasing Coulson around trying to figure out how to get in the loop from outside of it.

Bet by the time he’s back, she’ll have hacked into something and embarrassed Coulson.

“What’s so funny?” Fitz asks suddenly.

One of the comments Sitwell had made to him, when he took him aside before the op, was to let him know that Agent Blake had been saying he was building a file on Coulson. Because of his unorthodox behavior.

Boy could he help fill out that file.

“You asked if I liked Skye,” he says. “But, do you think _Coulson_ likes Skye?”

Fitz snorts.  “Well, obviously.  I mean, she’s a walking, talking example of testing Agent Coulson’s patience and surviving.”

“Yeah,” he smirks.  “You know she has a nickname for him?”

“A wha?” Fitz says awkwardly. 

“A.C.”

“Oh, that’s a bit… _funny_.”

“ _Skye’s funny_ …” agrees Ward.

“You know Skye,” Fitz says, sighing and leaning back, dropping the subject.

“When did you hear her say that? I mean, to Agent Coulson,” he asks, from over his shoulder, picking it up again after a moment.

Ward can hear the curious tone in his voice.  He’s caught on.

“Just in passing, not like I was trying to hear, _if_ that’s what you’re implying,” he adds, tersely.

“No, that’s not what I’m saying,” Fitz says sharply.  “It’s just short for Agent Coulson,” he huffs.  “It's nothing.”

“I guess.  If _I_ tried to call him A.C. it might not have the same effect.”

“Yeah, well, you’re _definitely_ not Skye.”

He’s dropped the hint.  He’ll let it do its work.

It’s always good to have other eyes and ears.

Fitz really wants them to be friends.

He can tell. He wears it all over his face. 

He's read the kid's file and he knows he doesn't have a dad.

Probably never had anyone step in for him, either.  

Show him what it takes to be a man.

That certainly wasn't going to be his job, but, it did put him at an advantage.

Fitz was pretty open to suggestion and any kind of hint of approval from Ward would make him all too eager.

This mission would probably lay a good foundation for that.

He planned on getting out alive.

And taking Fitz with him, _if_ he wasn't too much trouble.

There was no way he wasn't walking away with The Overkill Device.

 


	8. The Well

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ward almost blows his cover after reliving the memory of his brother drowning.

If it wasn't for this mission, he could've stayed and had that drink.

He never likes to drink too much. Doesn't like the feeling of losing control.

It slows him down, it doesn't numb him, just slows him down.

Today he wishes he could drink too much.

The Berserker Staff, it had made him feel things.

Wasn't enough just seeing it. _Feeling it_.

Like, he relived it.

That moment of weakness.

He thought about how he'd lied to Skye about it before. Used it to make her feel closer to him.

And she sits across from him now, and he brings it up, his brother.

She has no idea.

When the truth. The truth was...

He'd stood there.

Because he was afraid.

 _Weak_.

Instead of one weak brother, there were two.

His older brother watching him squirm, like an ant under a lens in the sun.

He'd carried that with him.

Having to lie when his older brother said it was an accident.

That's when Ward had decided that he couldn't be pushed around anymore.

He wasn't going to be weak.

 _Pushing back felt good_.

Today made him feel weak again, and that made him sick inside.

Unmade, after all he had sacrificed to get to this point. Every. Little. Thing. Garrett had taught him.

Unravelled, with a touch.

She's looking at him across the bar now with those big puppy dog eyes of hers, and it's supposed to make him feel better?

"Skye, do you know what I need right now?"

That's what he wants to ask her.

"Because, if you did..."

He imagines the look on her face when she realizes it.

Maybe she does.

And then she withdraws her hand from his arm.

No, he can't read her. Not really.

Coulson can, though.

Stupid, weak, silly, Phil Coulson.

It grates on him, particularly now of all times. He can't think of that.

He'd had to step in to protect the team. To protect Skye.

When the Asgardian got stabbed through the heart, Coulson froze.

Guess that's was deja vu looks like.

He looks over at Skye calmly and says he's tired and gets up.

"Another time, maybe."

Maybe there will be another time.

When he's not so exposed.

It was bad enough that he had to apologize to them for saying everything he knew was true.

He'd been _so close_ to losing control, _so close_ to blowing his cover, he'd actually gone to Coulson and asked him to pull him from active duty.

Instead Coulson had just set him loose on the Asgardian.

It's too bad he didn't get a chance to take him apart. He'd like to see how he'd hold up against one of them.

Especially this one, because, he doesn't want a light shining in his darkest place.

He likes to enter and leave there when _he_ chooses. When _he_ says.

When he reaches his hotel room door, all he can think is how tired he feels.

Weak.

May steps to her door at the end of a hall, she's got a bottle in hand.

They glance at each other briefly in the hallway, and she hesitates and crosses the threshold to her room.

The door is wide open.

He didn't think it would happen like this.

Thought he'd have to work a lot harder to get this close.

But, there's no mistaking it.

It's the opening he's been waiting for.

And this is exactly what he needs.

May can handle him.

May can see him like this and she won't question it.

Hell, she might even be feeling a little of it herself.

She's feeling Bahrain, all over again, not just seeing it.

You can't get much closer than this.

He smiles to himself as he walks into her room.

Shuts the door behind.

He doesn't even have to say a word.

And just like that, his day got better.


	9. Repairs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, it's Ward, and he's awful. He watches Skye and Coulson talk.

Skye has put the girl down in her bunk.

Always putting herself last for others.

That’s her habit.

He knows he should see it as a weakness, but it makes him feel protective.

Makes him think of weak little brothers in the bottom of wells.

The way Coulson’s been coddling her, there’s no way she’ll make it through to the end.

He stops outside her bunk to meet Skye’s eyes and makes a point to offer his help.

She would like that.

Garrett says he's stepping things up. Getting ready to ratchet up the pressure on Coulson in new and painful ways.  He doesn't have a lot of details, yet, he just knows that something big is going down soon.

She’ll need someone to protect her.

Sure, she can flirt and hack her way out of a few scrapes, but that will only get her so far.

This long, trying day dealing with alternate dimensions and losers in love.

Speaking of losers.

He sees Coulson standing in the briefing room, just on the other side, turning over something in his hands.

And he starts to walk away but glances back at Skye, sees her turn and smile.

But not at him.

She’s staring at _Coulson_.

He’s not looking back at her, though.  He hasn't even seen her.

She’s just watching him with this…intense look on her face.

Shuffling through a series of past moments, he's wondering if he's ever seen her look at anyone that way.

Hanging back to keep just out of view, he studies as she walks towards Coulson, stops, and they start chatting.

It’s _just_ chatting.

 _Not_ the other thing.

Skye would _never_.

Coulson’s face loses its tension while she’s talking to him.

He can’t hear a word, _but_.

Coulson draws that stupid playboy smirk of his across his face.

The way she’s leaning forward and he can see her foot twisting little circles on the ground, just out of his view.

_How long were they trapped in his office again?_

He doing the math in his head when Coulson ends the conversation and starts heading right for him.

Just as he turns the corner, he sees Skye staring after Coulson.

And the look on her face.

What it suggests is _killing_ him.

Making him want to punch something.

There’s _no way_ she can want that old man.

Not like that.

She should have someone young, someone whose body she could appreciate.

Whether he likes it or not, fooling around with May has his mind going in that direction.

Garrett seems to think _that_ part of it should be a piece of cake, but, whenever he's done things like that in the past, it's always been quick and it's always been with strangers.

He's never had to act kind or gentle or ask questions after.

Of course he knows all the training around it.

It's just.

How can _she_ look at _him_ that way?

When he's alone with May, he's starting thinking about her.

It's really pretty easy.

May is quiet, though. That's what always drags him out of it.

Skye wouldn't be able to shut up.

It might be fun to make her, though.

The thing is, it's too bad about May.

She's got her shit together, even if Bahrain broke her down.

They could use someone like her in the new order.

May is too much in Coulson's corner, though, so he'll have to go through her when it's time.

Cross her off.

It's so much nicer to think about Skye instead.

If Garrett wants to step things up? Good.

About time.

He's tired of putting up with all of this.

Getting too close.


	10. The Bridge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garrett sets things in motion.

He's getting more aggressive in his PDA with May.

She'll read it as youthful indiscretion.

But if their relationship is exposed, that proves him some leverage.

To stoke the fire they're headed into.

So he starts to make comments out loud when they're training.

Spending too much time in the cockpit.

Lingering stares (he's borrowing that one from Phil's playbook).

Not too many, but, just enough to put May on edge.

She could end it any time.

For some reason she seems hesitant.

_Maybe he's just that good?_

When they're called in for a briefing, he can't help but notice it.

The way Coulson positions himself right next to Skye.

And letting Petersen back on doesn't surprise him.

It was part of their plan, after all.

Hearing Skye talk about him, though. Call him _Mike_ , say he's a good man?

He just wants to roll his eyes.

Not as much as the look on Coulson's face when Skye says that line.

_Guys in suits, not so bad?_

Coulson's face looks like someone just handed him a puppy.

This Mike guy, he's not going to get in the way.

Coulson takes him along on a gambit to get more information on one of the CENTIPEDE soldiers.

They're driving through the neighborhood on the way to the University, reviewing the file, and he drops a line about the women's studies class their mark is enrolled in.

It's perfect, because, he's both curious about Coulson's opinion of it (which he figures he knows already, but we'll see) and also as an opening to get him talking about women.

The kind he likes.

If he likes women like _Skye_.

As usual, he doesn't answer anything too directly when it comes to his own past. Just hints.

Then, this Cellist, what went down in New York, ruined that for him.

For whatever reason, once he's on that subject, he stays on it for awhile.

Regrets. He was actually in love with this woman.

Actually opening up to him, there's some real emotion in his voice.

She sounds nothing like Skye.

And he's friendly about it, but Coulson makes it clear he's not into relationships in the workplace.

Good.

Coulson has a habit of saying one thing, and doing another, though.

But, he's put it out there.

He knows when they fly to Oakland, when they go in, that CENTIPEDE's going to outmatch them.

That's not the point.

The point is to send a message. Drop another breadcrumb.

And get some things lined up.

Petersen's been weakened now.

May thinks his guard is slipping and that he's actually getting emotional over her.

Just some exposed areas that will come in handy soon.

The hardest part is pretending to be distressed that Coulson's gone.

And having to look at Skye's face.

Remembering the way she screamed on the bridge.

He'd tracked with his sniper rifle, watched them walk to the rendezvous point.

Too much in the way. Part of his job here was to take out Petersen even after they got what they came for.

"Make sure Petersen doesn't walk," Garrett had said.

He'd put a bullet in the tank

Then the sedan exploded afterwards.

Garrett _did_ have a flair for the dramatic.

Like having the helicopter crew tag him on their way out so no one asked the wrong questions.

He'd have to thank him for that the next time they met.

Her mind is on one track and one track only.

 _Get Coulson_.

She might not like what she finds left of him.


	11. The Magical Place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the dominoes begin to fall, Ward tries to stay positioned close to Skye. Half way there!

  
He took the bracelet off her.

And damned if he doesn't look pleased about how the whole thing has turned out.

They're just standing there, staring at each other.

He can see them from the top of the stairs.

Like they're talking, but without words.

His only consolation on this, is that he knows something Coulson doesn't.

That he had a hand in his torture.

Of course Fury called out the big dogs for just one man.

That's the kind of stupid stunt that Fury pulled.

Waste _all_ your resources for your one broken toy soldier, Nick.

He was tired of playing Grant Ward, Agent of SHIELD.

His old life was easier. More simple.

Victoria Hand had taken over the Bus.

A tough woman, the kind that liked trying to fill a man's shoes in oh so many ways.

On the wrong side of things, though.

And a little too fond of the bureaucratic for his taste.

Skye didn't care about the protocol crap, _did she_?

No, all Skye wanted was _Coulson_.

Those were the actual words out of her mouth to Hand.

She was slipping away from him.

Hand wanted to throw Skye off the Bus, but he needed her right here.

Where he could watch her, protect her.

Until they were done with Coulson.

And then, she'd get over it.

He'd help her.

 _Comfort her_.

Then May backs up Hand and all he's got left is to turn her loose.

Switch tactics, keep them together by keeping her looking for Coulson.

If she gets stuck locked down in a SHIELD facility when things go down?

There are kill lists.

He can't think about it right now.

May is actually banking on Skye coming up with something before they do. He didn't know May had it in her.

She'd played Hand.

Ah, what a waste.

The fact that Coulson has survived, looking roughed up, is a testament to this team.

Regardless of how oddly they'd been formed, they'd figured out how to work around the system.  They'd been operating on the outside this whole time, really.

Was that what Coulson had always wanted all along?

Or was that Fury's play?

He wondered.

Skye wouldn't talk about Coulson, how she'd found him.

May wasn't talking, either.

And back at the Bus, Coulson disappeared. To shower, shave, probably.

Put himself back together with one of his nice, neat suits, like nothing had happened.

He only hoped Raina got something good.

Something Garrett could use.

He'd know soon enough.

They all greeted Coulson after he sent off Agent Hand and sent them back to work.

_If you managed to live through that, Phil, you might be tougher to crack than I thought._

He was here.

Skye was here.

What could possibly drive them apart?

He needed some way of separating them.

So when the time came, she wouldn't be sacrificed.

On the alter of Coulson's weakness.

He was running out of time.


	12. Seeds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A storm is coming.

The best path here was going to be to not get killed by Donnie's weather machine.

Getting stuck with the Science and Tech Division in lockdown was not his idea of a good time.

These pathetic losers wouldn't last two seconds outside.

They could at least put their minds to work instead of running around in a panic.

Meanwhile, Skye was stuck on the Bus, and he was here.

That machine was _powerful_.

Donnie would be useful, if they just managed to survive his demonstration.

SHIELD had put them on an incident at the Academy.

Nothing too big, he'd thought at the time.

Really, just sounded more like a prank gone wrong.

Besides, getting off the Bus would be good for everyone.

Especially Skye.

Coulson had been withdrawn since they'd rescued him. Holed up in his office.

The last time he'd been like that was when Skye had lied to the team.

Meant it was something very close.  Very personal, then.

It was a clue that Raina had maybe gotten somewhere with the machine.

The way he'd disappeared, too, right after.

No one knew where he went.

He was hiding things from them.

May might be, too.

He wondered if he was hiding it from Skye?

Her energy and concern were still directed towards Coulson.

Since he was going to have her to himself (and Fitzsimmons, he supposed), he brushed off Coulson's recovery and tried to give her something positive to think on.

Give himself a chance to take charge.

While Coulson and May run off on their little secret mission.

It's good for Skye to see that Coulson doesn't trust her _too_ much.

When they get to the Academy, they get briefed and Skye lingers at the Memorial.

One of many, but he can tell she's thinking about something.

She starts talking, and it's about SHIELD, about being a part of something. About history and having a place.

 _C'mon_ , Skye.

This is the worst possible time to get attached to SHIELD.

He wished he could warn her.

"All you need is a dedication to the greater good," he says.

Which is true.

When you serve the greater good, you don't end up dead.

You end up _on top_.

Rising above the chaos.

Bucky Barnes is a great example of serving the lesser good.

He uses the opportunity this mission provides to interview a number of these kids, size them up for future use.

There's a lot of promise here for HYDRA's Science Division.

Skye thinks quick on her feet.

With the right training, he could be running missions with her in no time. Her setting up the op and launching the exploit, him being the trigger man.

Just the two of them.

That's what he was hoping for.  Garrett owed him, after all.

Things had gone a bit chilly between him and May.

Not over, which was fine.

She didn't give him intel really, but she had softened up to him, and that was the goal.

Not to get information, just to make it easier.

When the time came.

Right around the corner.

 _The inevitable_.

They question a few more of these potentials, connect the dots, and he finds out Donnie's been playing them all along.

He has to stay behind with Weaver and coordinate the search while Skye and the others get called back to Coulson.

Before things really go haywire, he manages to send out an encrypted update to Garrett.

_Found a few new recruits for you. See you soon?_

_Sooner than you think._ Comes the reply.

_Oh, and Ward?  Can't wait to meet Skye._

John.

Guess he figured that one out on his own.

It's not like he literally wrote how he feels.

But, that's why Garrett calls the shots.

There _is_ a storm coming.

And SHIELD has no idea.

 


	13. T.R.A.C.K.S.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Ward gets to spend time with Coulson.

He pries around the edges with May.

Skye has been shut up in Coulson's office for the last few days.

They're after Quinn.

He knows it's about the message from the "Clairvoyant".

Garrett is playing Coulson, making him go for the 4th down every time.

But he wants to see just how much she knows.

How soon he might have to cross her off, or if she's still in the dark.

There's no way May would approve of Coulson sleeping with a subordinate.

Although, _he_ might miss regular sex.

It's been keeping him distracted.

When he drops the fact that Coulson's appropriated Skye as his personal tool for revenge, casually, into their conversation as they change on the train, he's glancing over, looking for a tic or a tell.

Nope, May's solid.

Coulson did share something with Skye.

And he didn't share it with May.

It's important that she knows that.

Because, he needs her to not trust Coulson right now.

Whatever Coulson shared, it could put Skye in danger.

Those two have been busy, planning something.

He mentions to May how personal urges can effect tactical decisions.

Just to see if she picks that ball up.

Coulson's personal urges are getting in _his_ way.

What was he supposed to think they were doing in his office, behind closed doors, late into the night?

He'd walked by a few times and swore he heard Skye laughing and some low matching _chuckle_ from Coulson that made the hair on his neck stand on end.

Instead, of confirming anything, May talks about _them_.

About detachment.

Gee, you think?

Now that she mentions it, they planned this whole operation together, didn't they?

Coulson and Skye.

They put him with May.

Did...?

"You think Coulson will take that excuse if he finds out about us?" he asks.

She confirms what he's already thinking.

She's told Coulson about them.

 _Perfect_.

He's playing undercover, undercover, anyway.

But he's a bit in the dark on this one and he's sure John has his reasons.

All Garrett said was he should play his part and play it very well.

So he shuts his mind off, just does the mission.

The Cybertek guys are waiting for them.

They've been made.

He finds Simmons and gets Coulson's location at the end of the train, redirects her to meet up with Skye and Fitz.

Grant Ward, Agent of SHIELD, at your service.

Great, that means he's going to be stuck with Phil.

Garrett is probably laughing somewhere.

He knows how much he hates this guy.

Although they manage to make it back to the Bus without a bump, this has been, argueably, one of the most bizarre days of his life.

Coulson's been unbelievably chatty, and he's trying to bond with him.

Then it clicks.

 _Coulson is flipped out_.

Coulson's stuck with him, and he has no idea what happened to his team, and he's trying not to lose it.

It's because he doesn't know where Skye is.

Today, he will get to watch Phil Coulson have a breakdown, because Garrett is running the show, and if he knows Garrett, the look he sees on Phil's face  
right now is just the beginning.

They play around with the holotable in the MedLab to trace Cybertek (he didn't even know where the on switch was?) and then he pushes.

Just gives him a little prod.

About May.

His most sincere, Agent Grant Ward, let's keep this professional, sir. I'm sleeping with your oldest and closest friend, and how does that make you feel?

Let's see where he takes that.

Coulson gives him a dressing down about protocols and threatens him (with Blonsky, of all people) if he hurts May.

And then the Calvary arrives.

Just in time.

And she's pissed.


	14. T.A.H.I.T.I.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ward blames Coulson for everything.

  
Coulson.

He'd like put his hands around his throat right now.

That's what he wants.

Just cross them all off and be done with it.

_If Garrett didn't need you alive..._

This was everything he'd feared.

Weak little man standing there quietly calling up Fury on your cellphone?

Where is your smirk, Coulson? That face you wear the way you do those suits?

Your stupid fucking suits.

He should have to swallow that tie.

When he did kill him, it was going to be slow.  He wanted to see the light go out of his eyes.

_Skye is going to die, Coulson, and it's your fault._

You sent her in alone.

Put her in _your_ place.

You weak, disgusting, pathetic man.

It should be you on that operating table.

You should be dead.

Coulson was just like his brother.

Like his brother, he'd put him in the middle, forced him to watch, and now he'd have to relive it all over again.

_How dare you?_

May knew. She saw.

He was Skye's S.O. it's how he's supposed to feel about this.

It should be Coulson in there.

Watching her in the medpod, hooked up to all those machines, he's asking himself if any of this is even worth it.

Garrett's presence here means he thinks they're close.

Quinn had to pull the trigger on Skye to get Coulson this desperate.

It also meant he was...

The man's feelings.  For Skye.

His suspicions had been right all along.

Coulson would do anything now.

He'd even shared his death and recovery file with the team, broke protocol like it was nothing.

Finally.

What was done to him, the ones who did it, they weren't even SHIELD. Or HYDRA.

This was one of Fury's dark corners. The kind of thing they'd always suspected Fury was capable of.

It took _this_ for Coulson to start talking about what really happened.

She couldn't even breathe on her own.

And he was helpless.

Even if they brought her back from that, what would she be?

Coulson's not even human anymore.

Now he wants to do that to Skye?

He hopes he never sees it coming.

That Coulson's blindsided when his world falls apart.

Just like his is now.

If he had just given Garrett what he wanted...

Skye could've been spared.

He would make sure.

Coulson would have to give up everything.

_EVERYTHING._

Just like he had.


	15. Yes Men

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is obviously a sensitive subject, and so I wanted to treat it as such without having to add a rape tag to the story, but that's obviously what Lorelei did to Ward in "Yes Men".
> 
> The fact that Ward turns around and later makes a rape threat to Skye, specifically about manipulating her body so that she would give him what he wanted, informs my take on this episode.

He didn't care if they ended it.

Really, he was disappointed with himself, if anything.

This had been the perfect opportunity to cross off May.

And he came up short.

At least he knew what he was dealing with.

He'd pushed her to her limits.

Her knowing his feelings about Skye, though.

That was another thing.

That meant that _he_ would know.

The last thing he would want was for Skye to find out _that way_.

He wasn't really sure how she'd find out, actually.  He hadn't spent a lot of time thinking about it.

Just figured when things went down, she'd be there by his side and he would protect her.

Then they'd start over.

One more conversation to have with Garrett.

How to turn this to their advantage, dig in deeper.

Their last two exchanges had been unpleasant.

One, he had discovered that Garrett had ordered Quinn to shoot Skye.

_"If he loves her, he'll find a way to save her, Grant. And I know Phil. A real romantic. Don't worry."_

So they were reduced to putting bullets in girls to get Coulson to give up his secrets.

But, it had produced results.

They had the GH-325.

And Skye was still alive.

Two, when he'd told him about Lorelei, John said for him to suck it up and that a woman being on top might teach him a thing or two. He'd left it hanging, didn't reply.  

Something about the tone.  

Garrett didn't like it when he turned self-pitying.

He hadn't given Lorelei permission.

 _His_ body.

 _His_ mind.

Because she had all the power.

What must it be like, to have that much power?

To get exactly what you wanted with words? A touch?

Lorelei had wanted to take over the world and they'd gotten in her way.

One thing he knew for certain.

The strong survive.

He knew that firsthand.

Lorelei started off strong and finished weak.

That's when the thought enters his mind, wondering...does May suspect?

He'd pulled the trigger during their fight, after all. Just didn't happen to have any bullets.

When things quiet down, he seeks her out.

May breaks up with him.

He's not sure what all she knows, she's playing it close to the vest.

But her last line about him being honest with himself leads him to believe she's talking about feelings and not about the fact that he's been playing her all along.

Leaving the cockpit he heads to the MedLab to find Fitz and Simmons tinkering and twittering.

They're talking about Asgardians, theorizing about how Lorelei's powers work scientifically, when Fitz mentions Coulson wanting to speak with Skye alone and Simmons starts in, then stops herself.

"He didn't even say he was sorry for hitting me," mumbles Fitz.

He and Fitz exchange a knowing glance as Simmons walks across the room to retrieve one of her tools.

She's already deep into studying Skye's bloodwork.

Fitz just shrugs half-heartedly and goes back to work on his latest project.

Ward leaves and walks towards the medpod.

Just wants to see it for himself.

He stands out of sight, tucked back in the corner.

Coulson's back is to him, Skye is sitting up on the bed.

They're having an intense conversation.

Then he steps in even closer to her.

Skye's eyes haven't left Coulson's face.

He knows what's coming, but he can't watch.

He has to walk away.

 


	16. End of the Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ward and Garrett set up the Nash operation.

He had put her inside SHIELD.

It was the worst possible thing he could've done.

The worst possible timing.

He wishes he could be happy for her, celebrate, but he knows it's all about to come crashing down.

Once again, Coulson has compromised her.

For what? So she could run this op?

It was set up to fail.

They were on the inside.

He wanted to warn her.

This was just Coulson's way of keeping Skye tied to him.

Making sure she could never break away.

It had all started with luring her in on her 0-8-4 status.

And what had that gotten her?

She still didn't know what she was any more than the first day she'd arrived.

The way they were staring at each other, with Hand, Blake and Sitwell there.

Unbelievable, he'd orchestrated the whole think like a ceremony and was handing her the badge like it was a damn proposal.

Is this guy _for real_?!

Coulson has no propriety left, if he'd ever had any.

What a relief to see Hand looking at Coulson like he was just that crazy.

Frosty Victoria Hand, he had to give her that.

At least somebody else had Coulson's number.

Garrett had made sure to let him know that when this op was done, they wouldn't need Nash anymore.

The plan was to get Deathlok to lead them to Nash and then make Coulson look like a fool in front of his superior officers.

Spook the leadership.

" _Turn it up to 11_ ," he'd said to Ward. "Blake already has Vick convinced that Coulson's gone rogue. He might even be The Clairvoyant, and he's jerking   
us all around. Keep them distracted until the sky comes crashing down on them."

Garrett thought the whole thing was hilarious.

"You know the drill," he'd said. "And leave Skye to me. I'll charm her for you, Grant."

He'd rolled his eyes at that.

Garrett was a great con, certainly could be charming, but somehow he thought it might be lost on Skye.

The only problem is Blake cuts their keystone cop chase short by tagging Deathlok with a tracer instead of them having to track him down the old fashioned way.

So he leads them straight to Nash.

It strikes him as somewhat funny that Coulson sides with him to leave Skye in the van and out of the action.

She shouldn't even be here, but, he'll take what he can get.

_Can't have her getting shot again on your watch, can we, Phil?_

She has been working hard training. Still, a long way to go.

But he's proud of her.

He's glad that she'll be on the outside, but still be able to see and watch.

How far he would go to protect her.

The thing that Coulson would never do.

What it will take to keep her safe.

He'd helped Garrett choose the words. Of course, John had added his own dramatic flair.

Something was coming for them. 

For him and Skye.

It was _inevitable_.

They were the things he had been thinking all along.

Coulson's luck was finally running out.

 

 


	17. Turn, Turn, Turn

The dominoes had fallen.

And down went SHIELD.

Time to survive.

Just long enough to get to Garrett.

Get Skye and get to Garrett.

And cross off whoever is left, if they can't lay down their loyalties to SHIELD.

Coulson's getting crossed off, regardless.

Good 'ol John.

John finds his way back to him.

They're all headed back to the Hub.

He gets alone with John for a moment and the man says, " _Apparently_ , Agent Hand is the Clairvoyant."

Victoria Hand isn't the kind to ask questions first and shoot later.

Time to put differences aside and use this team to ride it out.

Stay on the inside just a little longer.

May was keeping secrets of her own.

She's good.

 _Real good_.

Reporting to Fury right under their noses all along.

And here he was worried about _his_ secrets.

It's too late now, but he does wonder what she would have been like without that hanging over her head.

The truth is they never knew each other.

They never will know.

Garrett wants to use Skye to get all the research on the GH-325 and put it into their hands.

Works for him.

Gives him a reason to stick close to her, guard her.

Coulson would want that.

For Skye to be safe.  No matter what.

Phil also gives him the location of the Gravitonium, hidden in the subfloor of the Fridge.

That _will_ come in handy. For someone.

It won't be Coulson, though.

He knows why he's sending him with Skye.

By now Coulson knows he'll do whatever it takes.

He killed Nash to protect her. Which is more than Coulson's ever done.

Coulson is leading from behind, letting Garrett figure things out.

It's all gone to hell and Phil Coulson is hanging by a thread, a puppet with its strings cut one by one.

Bye bye Nick Fury.

Finally, _he's_ about to get everything he wants.

Standing in the closet with Skye, they're talking about what comes next.

How he's going to storm the corridor so they can finish their mission.

After all, the team's relying on them.

He lets his voice get soft, a pained expression on his face.

"I killed an innocent man, Skye."


	18. Providence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ward takes Raina to meet the Clairvoyant.

Hand was a hard ass, Garrett was right.

She'd never turn.

When they get to hit the Fridge later, it'll be party time.

For the moment, he's tasked with releasing Raina.

He brings her a special present and an invitation he's sure she won't refuse.

Nice looking girl, but she's got a crazy look in her eyes.

She spends most of the plane ride to Havana staring at him.  
  
Wordlessly.

Like, she's trying to read his mind.

The only thing she talks about is the Clairvoyant.

"Have you met him?" she asks, fluttering her eyes.

He smiles at her coldly, sizing her up.

Raina is a predator in a very deceptive package.

"You will soon," he says, breaking eye contact with her, evading the question.

He can see the disappointment in her face as they get closer to the base.

Obviously, she expected something more impressive.

Something less lo-fi.

_The Clairvoyant isn't a clairvoyant, either, sweetie._

Once they get underground, Skye calls him to let him know the team's made it out of the Hub.

He's just so happy to hear her voice again.  

She's safe.

Then Garrett starts in on him after eavesdropping on the whole thing.

What John doesn't understand is how hard this has been on him.

Escalation has changed a lot of things.

Phil Coulson not knowing what they did to his body and mind has changed things.

_He wasn't supposed to get attached._

The job was to get intel from Coulson and then cross them all off.

In week one, he would've killed Skye, without a second thought.

But, it's too late now.

He feels too much now.

Garrett doesn't understand.

After John loses a bet about the Gravitonium, they stop at a nice little place that caters to Americans.

While he's eating his steak, John talks a lot about HYDRA and how it's too bad about Phil and how being soft will land you six feet under.

He's pretty much heard it all before.

Sometimes he thinks John doesn't realize he repeats himself.

Because he's falling apart. His body is failing him.

When they get back to the base, Raina looks frustrated and sullen.

He thinks her pouting could get annoying really fast.

Skye's encrypted the hard drive.

Of course she did.

At least this gives him an excuse.

Maybe they'll have that drink?


	19. The Only Light in the Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ward kidnaps Skye.

Skye was getting on the Bus with him, she'd taken his hand.

He was so _relieved_.

This had turned out better than he had hoped.

Garrett's timing was pretty impressive, all throughout this thing.

But especially now.

Coulson split up the team and went after Daniels without thinking twice.

He must really like that Cellist.

 _And_...Skye had kissed him.

He'd thought about it so many times, so many different ways.

Koenig's blood on him had made him panic, practically ruined it.

How could he be so stupid?

He didn't want this moment ruined with something like that.

He didn't want the mission associated with her in his mind anymore.

This was about starting over, about getting real.

He'd have to make it up to her later.

For a brief, paranoid moment, he was afraid that Skye hadn't bought his story about cutting himself shaving.

They were having a moment, and she'd walked away.  Who does something like that?

Was she rejecting him?

What if she'd found out he crossed off Koenig?

 _Nothing personal_ against the guy, but he couldn't risk it.

He might even be a little grateful, since he'd given him the opportunity to top Romanoff and beat the chair.

In the end, Skye found him.

She was trying to take things slow.  She'd been doing that all day, and if he were honest with himself, it was frustrating him.

There wasn't _time_ to take things slow.

Talking it out was not an option.

Just like risking the rest of the team getting back was not in the cards.

But she was being stubborn and resisting him, and he wondered if he'd have to do it the hard way.

Then she kissed him again.

Said she wanted it, too.

And that was good enough for him.

He settled them in the cockpit as they took off.  

He was keeping Skye close.

He just wanted her near, something that had been denied him for so long.

Just so he could look at her, uninterrupted.

Could he have been any luckier to have May leave on her own?

That was when he felt like he had some real breathing room.

He wasn't sure what that was about all the way, Coulson probably had enough of her double dealings.

Skye would unlock the hard drive, give Garrett what he wanted, and she would be safe.

He'd tell her the team needed some of the specs.

The most important thing was she was with him.

And Phil Coulson was somewhere far away.

Maybe Daniels would take Coulson out and he would just fade away?

Who knows?  Crazier things have happened.

Skye looked out at the sunset.

" _It's so beautiful._ "

Yes, it was.


	20. Nothing Personal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ward is a psycho.

He'd never be free of him.

The one thing he'd wanted.

The only thing he'd _ever_ wanted for himself.

And here was Coulson.

Taking it.

Literally.

They made it into the car as he caught up to them and ducked as the headlights laid down fire into the hangar.

Aiming his gun he emptied his mag precisely at Coulson's head.

The bitter taste came into the front of his mouth as the windshield held.

This had to be the worst day of his life.

Skye had betrayed him in every possible way.

He watched as Coulson fired Lola's thrusters and the car went flying backwards out of the hangar.

Gone.

She was gone.

With him.

One of Deathlok's missles had tagged the wheel, but he saw them descend as the hangar began to shut.

He stormed towards the cockpit to correct the autopilot.

That whole exchange with Hill had been a diversion to get Coulson on the plane.

If only he hadn't been so exhausted, so distracted.

Really, all that he had left now was the mission.

But he couldn't let it go.

_She had attacked him!_

After he had tried to reason with her, told her he wasn't going to hurt her.

Told her how he felt about her.

She was treating him like a monster.

When she was the one who had stood there staring at him after Deathlok had stopped his heart.

He really thought she might let him die.

And Deathlok isn't letting him turn the plane around.

He is going to suffer for this.

Is he forgetting who has the upper hand here?

_Where is Ace right now, Mike Petersen?_

Trying to throw back that he's just following orders, like he wasn't enjoying watching him on the ground.

Just so they understood each other, if he did that again?

He'd kill him.

She called him a _Nazi_.

 _HYDRA_ was not the same thing as _Nazi_. They were operating inside SHIELD, this was 2014 not 1942.

How hard was that to understand?!!

And Garrett wasn't loyal to HYDRA, he'd just made sure he pointed his sail into the wind, not against it.

Her idealism had clouded her thinking.

_SHIELD handbook 101? The Red Skull?_

That's like something...Coulson would say.

He had filled her head with lies.

Killing Coulson is the only thing he can think about right now.

He can't think about Skye's hateful comments or about her rage against him.

The way she'd mocked him when he'd just tried to make her understand.

_Just a little._

The whole time, she was playing him, stalling.

When he was just trying to finish his mission so he could protect her.

_Did she know what this would make him have to do?_

He couldn't be the victim here.

It was time for him to stop being weak.

Just take what he wanted.

 

 


	21. Ragtag

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ward crosses off Fitzsimmons.

Reeling he takes a moment alone.

John can't know this.

Skye's parents.

_What is she?_

She's probably not even human.

Raina had called her parents monsters.

The kind of people capable of killing every man, woman and child in a village.

It all made sense.

She didn't even know herself.

When she understood what she came from....

They weren't so different after all.

Maybe she hated him, but.

If she could see the thing inside of her.

Know the truth.

Skye might realize that what she was holding onto was a lie.

John had been hiding things from him.

And John was a lot sicker than he'd realized.

Of course he'd hidden it, he didn't want him distracted on the mission.

But he's the only family he has left.

They evacuate the base in Cuba, headed back to the States.

While they're loading the plane, he does standard recon of the perimiter.

Fitzsimmons.

Bad timing, kids.

He leads them onto the Bus to Garrett.

That means Coulson's around.

Maybe he brought the whole team if he'd put Fitzsimmons into the mix?

Fitz runs his mouth and reaches for something in his pocket.

He stops him with a hand and looks down at the coin and...a joy buzzer.

Stupid kid.

Then the lights dim and that's when he sees John start to collapse.

Not now. Not when they're so close.

"Ward," Fitz yells, "He deserves to die!"

He orders them out, and John, from the floor, orders him to cross Fitzsimmons off.

They've locked themselves in the Medpod.

He stares at them through the window.

Fitz says he's their friend.

It brings back a memory from 15 years ago.

It brings back the pain Skye caused him.

He remembers the feeling.

"I know you care about us Ward!"

Garrett was right.

"You're right. I do. _It's a weakness_."

He pulls the lever and watches the Medpod eject from the Bus.

Falling over water.

_He should've crossed them all off from the beginning._

Saved himself the pain.


	22. Beginning of the End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ward makes an unmistakable threat and gets his ass kicked.

This universe stuff he was babbling about was beyond him.

John thought he had something, but none of it made sense.

His scribbling on the door of the MedLab, this was one of the side effects outlined in Coulson's recovery file, right?

Raina is the only one with the capabilities to work this out.

He gives her a hint and watches her head off to the interrogation room.

John's been in there staring at the Gravitonium, for hours.

Which is for the best, because him out there during Quinn's demonstration might be a real disaster for their operation.

They need this to get set up.

They hear the sounds coming from outside the compound.

It's enough to draw Garrett's attention out to the demonstration.

Whatever he's on about, it's on some kind of mission of his own.

So when John pulls the man's rib out and beats him to death with it, he knows he's gone some place he can't follow.

And Raina and Quinn are trying to leave with the Gravitonium.

She's not getting away, she triggered this, she said something to Garrett.

He grabs her and Raina starts talking about Skye.

Evolution.

How it's all connected to her.

Skye hates him, but, Raina's right.

She doesn't _know_ what she really is.

He can help her find out.

It is what she's always wanted.

She can help him find himself.

When he finds John, his head is a mess, he's confused.

What he needs right now are orders.

Something to make him stay focused, not lose control in the middle of this chaos.

John's phone rings.

_It's Skye._

That means Coulson's here.

"Go get her," says John when he hangs up.

He heads to the command center and sees the room has been cleared with the lead handler wearing a bomb and Skye standing there staring back at him, thumb over the trigger.

_Defiant._

He's walking into something. Not sure what.

But what he does know, for the first time, is _exactly what he wants_.

She calls him weak.

And she's _so_ right.

That is what she did to him, isn't it?

Made him weak.

For her.

Always making him wait. And wait.

" _Maybe I'll just take what I want_ ," he says back to her, his patience slipping.

" _Wake up something inside of you_."

"I'm not afraid of you," she replies, stepping closer.

She's threatening him?  A weapon that's going to destroy him or something? 

"Why's that?" he asks, trying not to roll his eyes.

And then it hits him.

 

He can't speak.

John is dead.

He's being sent away. Locked away, like he was over a decade ago.

Skye is hidden from him.

And he's having to endure one of Coulson's most pretentious speeches.

They all seemed _so_ pleased with themselves.

But he's still alive.

_He can't wait to make them regret it._

 

As they shut the door to the prison transport, he hears Raina's voice in his head.

_"Maybe the two of you can become monsters together."_

 


End file.
